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“THE PHONE
ROOM”
The customers
The customers are many. Ranging from Ma and Pa Kettle types.
Ma and Pa Kettle
INT: THE PHONE ROOM WITH A BALLOON CUT-AWAY OF the INT of
an OLD FARM HOUSE, A OLD FARM LADY MA KETTLE stands near an open
door shown in the b.g. STABLES, PA KETTLE walks into view .
Ma
an Pa Kettle receive phone call from Alan at The Phone Room for donations with
the Solar System Society .
MA KETTLE
(in southern accent)
hello…..who’s calling!
CUT TO: The Phone
Room, Alan’s desk. Other telemarketer’s are seen in the b.g.
ALAN
(mimicking a southern accent)
This is Alan with the Solar System society.
May I speak with Mrs. Kettle?
MA KETTLE
This is Mrs. Kettle! What’s this all about?
ALAN
I’m
calling for the Solar System Society; we have an offer for you
Mr.
Kettle, for a membership in the Solar System Society. Your
support this
year; will send your family name on a flag
on board
our next
space mission to mars; if you start
your membership
for
one hundred dollars!
PA KETTLE strolls by the open door.
MA KETTLE
Did you hear that
Pa, he wants to send our family crest
to Mars for a
hundred dollars!
PA KETTLE
(in back ground, laughing)
How about if we
give them one hundred thousand, can we send your
Mother law or
degenerate cousin too! Tell them yes!
ALAN
Yes, I heard
that, yes we can.
CUT TO: The Phone Room, Alan’s desk. Not hearing the part
about sending the cousin and mother law, nor the hundred thousand, just the yes.
Thinking he has put Ma Kettle on hold, he accidentally puts them on the monitor,
which inadvertently can be heard by all,
he waves to the manager, Henry who rushes over to Alan’s desk.
ALAN (to Henry)
Henry! I
need to speak with you now!
I got a
sale I’ve got sale on the phone.
(talking into the headset)
Would you be able
to put that on a credit card?
HENRY ( in his
normal voice)
I heard the whole conversation on
the monitor,
they said the actually wanted
to send their mother-in-law and degenerate cousin on the
space ship mission,
I happened to be listening to the whole conversation on the
monitor phone!
It’s one of the
most funny
conversation you ever done! I tell
you what Alan
if you make this
sale, I’ll give you my pass to Disneyland!
ALAN
What?
(responding
to Henry, then to the customer)
Hello Ma Kettle,
Alan again, from the Solar System Society
I can’t be
sending your mother-in-law and cousin to mars on the
next space
mission, but I can except your
hundred dollar
membership and
send your family name on a flag to mars.
Will that be on Visa
or Master card?
MA KETTLE
Pa! we can’t
get rid of your mother and degenerate cousin.
PA KETTLE
(in background)
There’s always next year!
ALAN
That’s a possibility, but first
we need to start you’re membership this year.
Now is that going to be on a
visa or master card? You also get a premium gift,
a gold plated
Solar System Society pen, worth over a hundred bucks alone?
PHONE ROOM.
The other salespeople have been listing in, and
nod their heads and wave this off as a joke.
Suddenly on the monitor…
MA KETTLE
Sure! Send me the
pen!
Here’s our visa
number, its four, three two...
PHONE ROOM. The other salespeople, stop in amazement.
Henry turning to the others as he walks back to his area.
ALAN
Thank you for
contributing to the Solar System.
HENRY
See that’s how
you make a sale, no matter what the circumstances!
ALAN
(smiling to himself )
Disneyland.
Henry looks backs at Alan waving his hands, wow! He reaches
in his pocket pulling out a pen.
HENRY
Wow, just kidding mon. Here’s
a Disney pen mon!
END OF SCENE
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